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The Art (and Skill) of Expressing Thanks

huron — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 15:10:21 +0000

One of the most overlooked aspects of support raising is that of giving thanks, not only to the Lord, the giver of all good gifts, but also to those who partner with us in ministry. Communicating appreciation is essential in our relationship with God and is also a primary way of nurturing supporters. It needs special priority in our ministry. inadequate response for gifts may be a hindrance in relationships between ministry workers and their supporters. It seems to be a common human trait for us missionaries to fail to say thanks either because of forgetfulness or being too busy doing “God’s work.” Jesus also experienced ingratitude when only one of ten lepers He healed returned to thank him (Luke 17:12-19). After that one appreciative leper came back, Jesus exclaimed “…Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?…Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.” In other words, when we express thanks, could it be that our faith is at work strengthening us, while also appropriately responding to the gift? That may shed new light on the significance of communicating gratitude!

Whenever expressing thanks is in order—but not done—it may produce a literal break in relationship. This failure alone may cause diminishing support. One church I know of drops missionaries from the budget if they don’t hear from them. Donors may discontinue support to those who do not respond with gratitude for their giving. Aside from hearing that the gift was received, supporters need to be commended for their partnership in ministry. Paul’s letter to the Philippians is a great example of this, expressing thanks to God and their church for the gifts sent to him. Paul thanks God, commends the Philippians, and expresses his commitment to them, while also taking time to speak words of life to build them up.

You may wonder if I’m always great at this? No! Even as I write, I’m experiencing “conviction nudges” about several recent special gifts I need to acknowledge, affirming the timeliness of their check, and the way in which God used their generosity to encourage and strengthen me. The more we understand the role of thankfulness in our life in Christ, the more sensitive we become to His nudges for “right responses.” The importance of expressing thanks came home to me in a painful way recently. One person to whom I had gone out of my way to be kind and give gifts to gave little acknowledgment to my generosity. Then I had the opportunity to do similarly to someone else who immediately and graciously acknowledged my gift. What a difference that made to my gift-giving experience! It made me want to give more to the grateful person, while I found myself pulling back from the one who seemed to expect me to give to them, and with little thanks expressed.

A gift, whether small or large, deserves a personal thank you (not every ongoing monthly gift needs this, but first-time or single gifts certainly do). A quick response of appreciation, whether by phone, email, or personal note, will be a special encouragement to those who have blessed you. Ask the Lord for words of affirmation, so you’re not only conveying thankfulness, but also building up the other person.

Yes, expressing thanks is both an art and a skill. It requires listening and responding to the Lord, while also having tools (thank you cards, etc.) on hand to communicate gratitude and encouragement in a very practical way. May the Lord help each of us to “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (I Thessalonians 5:18-19)

Betty Barnett has been in full-time Christian service for over 30 years, dependent upon missionary support from her church and individuals. She is managing editor for Zondervan’s Christian Growth Study Bible, the first missions-focused study Bible. Over the years, Betty’s dynamic speaking ministry has taken her throughout the world, encouraging thousands of missionaries with the principles found in her book, Friend Raising — Building A Missionary Support Team That Lasts. She resides in Colorado Springs.

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Effective Communication a Must!

huron — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 22:48:39 +0000

A Visit From the Police: Kathleen and I were working in the yard awhile back (before the 25 inches of snowfall in November). We enjoy yard work. And we enjoy working together. It was approaching evening. I looked up as a car pulled into our driveway. The crunch of the tires on gravel was the give-away. My heart jumped just a bit. Not a lot. Just a bit. It was a police car. I was pretty sure Kathleen and I were clean and living within the law. Nevertheless, a police car was driving up our lane. Kathleen walked out toward the on-coming car. As she did, the car stopped (half-way up the drive) and the police officer got out. He looked like a typical policeman — clean-cut, six-foot something, nice uniform, and middle-aged. He began walking toward Kathleen. At thirty feet he spoke. “Are you the parents of Trevor Matthews.” That’s when our hearts more than jumped. They slumped. We felt weak. Our feet felt like they weighed a ton. Our tongues didn’t work right. However, Kathleen did manage a weak, “Yes, yes, we are.”

You can well imagine the thoughts in Kathleen’s and my head. And the accompanying emotions of the heart. The next twenty seconds seemed like an eternity — as we waited for the news.

Then the police officer smiled – which seemed really strange. Like he forgot protocol. It seemed like the place and time where the director of this episode should holler, “Cut!”

Then the officer said, “Well I know Trevor. I had him do some log work on our house. He told me his parents lived in this area. And since I’m patrolling this area now I am just stopping in to tell you what a great son you have.”

It’s a funny feeling — a feeling of tremendous relief, but still feeling like you want to hit somebody. I resisted the latter. And reveled in the former.

I’m convinced that police officer had the best intentions. However, his communication skills could use a bit of work. That “bit of work” would include considering these questions: How does what I say come across to the listener? Can I predict that the listener will accurately interpret my message?

A Visit From the Missionary: A couple is working in their yard (in Alaska, or Yakutia, or Canada or South Africa – it doesn’t matter much where). They look up to see a person approaching. As the person approaches them, he says, “Hello. Nice evening. I’m here to tell you that God loves you. And He has a wonderful plan for your life.”

What is the couple to think? What does the speaker think they think? Or does he know? Or does he care? The fact of the matter is that it matters much. What concept of God already exists in the couple’s world? Would the Yakutian know what God you are talking about? Would the Alaskan have a pre-conceived concept of God that matches the speakers? Would the South African have a syncretistic view of God already firmly planted in his thinking? If the couple were to “accept Jesus” on the spot, what “Jesus” would they be accepting? And where would they fit him into their already-existing way of thinking?

Bottom line: Good communication involves more than just speaking. It involves listening, relating, and being able to predict the understanding of one’s words by the hearer(s). Even (or may I be permitted to say, especially) the proclamation of the Gospel requires such attention.

Perhaps you can share some similar experiences you may have faced. We would love to hear from you!

Mike Matthews: Coordinator of Ministries to First Nations Peoples for Worldview Resource Group.

Since 1976 Mike Matthews has worked in Alaska, Canada, and Siberia in various cross-cultural ministry roles – church planter, Bible teacher, curriculum developer, field director, and church planting consultant. Mike is a PhD student in religious studies. He coordinates Worldview Resource Group’s training with agencies that work with First Nations peoples. He and his wife, Kathleen, live in Spokane, Washington, where they enjoy gardening and spending time in nature. They have four children and six grandchildren.

How Men Vs. Women Raise Support:

huron — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 18:24:37 +0000

Venus—Mars, Oil—Water, Dogs—Cats: What other metaphors can I draw upon to demonstrate there are fundamental differences between men and women? Even though our culture is desperately trying to blur, if not erase, the lines between the two sexes and create a “genderless” society, let’s admit it: GOD MADE US DIFFERENT! It’s a beautiful and harmonizing diversity, though, not to be denied or exploited, but to be understood and appreciated. Consequently, the passages and principles may be the same, but how men and women go about raising their personal support has some wide variances. So, instead of me just “sharing” my heart on this subject, let me (as a full-blooded male) instead “list” my five key points:

1. Women want close relationships with their supporters

Not that men don’t, but for the most part, females who are raising support have a greater interest in finding out the spouse and children’s names, birthdays, ages and schools, interests and needs, etc…And more of their appointments may be in homes with both husband and wife present, seeking to know about their personal life, needs, and prayer requests.

2. Men strongly present their vision and goals

Women certainly do a good job of laying out their mission and role, but many men seem to put a real premium on confidently, even aggressively, reciting their purpose statement, showing alarming (sometimes shocking!) statistics, and communicating the specific and measurable objectives they hope to accomplish in the next 3-5-10 years. And man alive, they can really put together some impressive PowerPoint slides, allowing the donor to graphically “visualize” the story!

3. Women share with empathy and authenticity

Being open and vulnerable, even revealing fears and weaknesses, is the preferable approach many women are comfortable with. Connecting to the heart, rather than just the mind (or the pocketbook!), is of highest priority. Women may interpret some men’s penchant for actually asking for a decision on giving during the appointment as insensitive and uncaring or putting too much undue pressure on the giver.

4. Men focus on the big picture rather than details

“We want to win the entire world to Christ!” a guy might boldly proclaim, while a gal raising support may go hour by hour as to what her daily ministry schedule entails. At the same time, a woman may be busy producing and sending well-done (and personalized) monthly newsletters, while the man may be praying and building up enough courage to approach that major donor for a $5,000 or $10,000 ask!

5. Women enjoy the journey, not just the destination

For most ladies, support raising is not just a “necessary evil” or bothersome hoop they must jump through to get to their ministry. Many times, they find joy in the process, make new friends, and record lessons God has taught them in their journal. Yes, men may sometimes get to full support quicker because they are more focused on the end result (i.e. just “show ME the money!”), but they might miss out on the incredible blessings along the way.

Agree? Disagree? Add or subtract? I know it appears like I have been harder on the men than the women in this article. Maybe it’s just because I am all too familiar with the evil that lurks within our hearts!

Finally, if you want to become the COMPLETE and TOTALLY BALANCED support raiser: men, you may have to get in touch with your feminine side, and ladies, you may have to toughen up and think like a guy sometimes!

Dr. Steve Shadrach has a passion for developing laborers for Christ to reach the world. He has been involved with many different collegiate ministries, and has served as Pastor of Students and Missions at University Baptist Church in Fayetteville, AR. He is also the founder of Student Mobilization, which focuses on evangelizing and discipling college students in the U.S. and abroad, The Traveling Team, and The Bodybuilders ministry, seeking to “build up the body of Christ” through the development of seminars and publications. Dr. Shadrach has a Masters in Biblical Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary and a Doctorate of Ministry in Church and Parachurch Executive Leadership from Denver Seminary.

Visit their website: Excellent Resource!